Preface to Pygmalion. Afternoon, ma'am. Her that turned me out was my sixth stepmother. I want a bit of amusement, cause I'm a thinking man. You know, Pickering, that woman has the most extraordinary ideas about me. I detest the habit. No paintings. Well, when I've done with her, we can throw her back into the gutter; and then it will be her own business again; so that's all right. No, Eliza: do as this lady does: think of other people's futures; but never think of your own. DOOLITTLE. I got my feelings same as anyone else. HIGGINS [looking critically at her] Oh no, I don't think so. A line drawing of the Internet Archive headquarters building façade. I never brought her up at all, except to give her a lick of a strap now and again. HIGGINS [carried away] Yes: in six months—in three if she has a good ear and a quick tongue—I'll take her anywhere and pass her off as anything. Not just this week, because I have a job at a distance. THE FLOWER GIRL. That's all I say. Washing's a treat for them. Abolitionists are an American group who fought endlessly for the immediate, Individual Reflection Paper: Worst Team in History: Enron. You sent her here on purpose. HIGGINS. HIGGINS. If she has no clothes go out and buy her some. HIGGINS [as he shuts the last drawer] Well, I think that's the whole show. Take my advice, Governor: marry Eliza while she's young and don't know no better. What! I put it to you. But if I'm to have fashionable clothes, I'll wait. You don't suppose anyone else wants her, do you? HIGGINS [following him, and standing beside him on his left] Tired of listening to sounds? Take your daughter. And it ought to look horrible! HIGGINS [throwing the book aside and marching down on Doolittle with a poser] What else did you come for? DOOLITTLE. But what's to become of her? DOOLITTLE. [To Mrs. Pearce] Can I put it more plainly and fairly, Mrs. Pearce? DOOLITTLE. THE FLOWER GIRL. Think of what that means to a man. [Wounded and whimpering] I won't be called a baggage when I've offered to pay like any lady. And you shall marry an officer in the Guards, with a beautiful moustache: the son of a marquis, who will disinherit him for marrying you, but will relent when he sees your beauty and goodness—. [She sits down. THE FLOWER GIRL [running away in terror to the piano, where she turns at bay] Ah—ah—ah—ow—ow—ow—oo! I tell you, it's easy to clean up here. MRS. PEARCE [following her] Oh, don't rush about like that, girl [She shuts the door behind her]. Mere alliteration, Mrs. Pearce, natural to a poet. [She leads the way to the door, and holds it open for Eliza]. Introduction. Designing A Computer Model Of A Human Body. Somebody is going to touch you, with a broomstick, if you don't stop snivelling. ACT I 2. Very clever, Higgins; but not sound sense. PICKERING. Well, sir, whatever you choose to call it, I beg you not to let the girl hear you repeat it. DOOLITTLE. I don't want no balmies teaching me. What am I, Governors both? Now you know, don't you? Good enough for ye—oo. She wouldn't have the heart to spend ten; and perhaps I shouldn't neither. HIGGINS. Pygmalion. If there's anything going, and I put in for a bit of it, it's always the same story: "You're undeserving; so you can't have it." it's the biggest offer I ever had. And she knows it too. MRS. PEARCE [resigning herself] Serve you right, Mr. Higgins. MRS. PEARCE. They found a nest with four eggs in it: HIGGINS. There won't be a penny of it left by Monday: I'll have to go to work same as if I'd never had it. What Do You Consider Are the Most Important Strategic Challenges for Todaybs Hr Practitioners Operating in Multi- or Transnational Companies? Wrap her up in brown paper till they come. Better wait til we get you something really fashionable. Oh! HIGGINS [yelling] Oh very well, very well: I'll wipe them in my hair in future. PICKERING [rising] Phew! I rather draw the line at encouraging that sort of immorality. I want to be a lady in a flower shop stead of selling at the corner of Tottenham Court Road. To wipe any part of your face that feels moist. When you let them into your life, you find that the woman is driving at one thing and you're driving at another. I'll bet you all the expenses of the experiment you can't do it. [She puts out her tongue at him. DOOLITTLE. Ah—ah—ow—oo! LIZA. She has a nearly clean apron, and the shoddy coat has been tidied a little. I ain't dirty: I washed my face and hands afore I come, I did. She's so deliciously low—so horribly dirty—. He's off his chump, he is. MRS. PEARCE. HIGGINS. THE FLOWER GIRL. LIZA. HIGGINS [sternly] Of course. Don't say that. I had to give the boy a penny afore he trusted me with it, the little swine. Then might I ask you not to come down to breakfast in your dressing-gown, or at any rate not to use it as a napkin to the extent you do, sir. THE FLOWER GIRL. HIGGINS. PICKERING. LIZA [strongly deprecating this view of her] Ah—ah—ah—ow—ow—oo! It's handsome. Mrs. Pearce is quite right. Certainly. It's—. He's a disgrace to me, he is, collecting dust, instead of working at his trade. [She sits down again, with an attempt at dignity]. We must help her to prepare and fit herself for her new station in life. Don't look at it that way. Excuse me, Higgins; but I really must interfere. Higgins, thus scolded, subsides. MRS. PEARCE. Further down the room, on the same side, is a fireplace, with a comfortable leather-covered easy-chair at the side of the hearth nearest the door, and a coal-scuttle. PICKERING [gently] What is it you want, my girl? I won't stay here if I don't like. Liza, utterly bewildered, stares helplessly at him. [She goes back to her chair and plants herself there defiantly]. How Agile And Scrum Can Be Used For Help A Start Up Business? The Human Resources Department Of An Organization Or Corporation, Business Leaders During The Industrial Revolution, Carrying A Concealed Weapon Is The Argument Amongst Most Citizens, Video Games And Its Effects On The Classroom, Analysis Of George Washington 's ' Father Of His Country '. DOOLITTLE. HIGGINS. But she'll soon pick up your free-and-easy ways. You know you nearly choked yourself with a fishbone in the jam only last week. I rather fancied myself because I can pronounce twenty-four distinct vowel sounds; but your hundred and thirty beat me. Whether he is or not, I'm afraid we shall have some trouble with him. DOOLITTLE. You shall have boxes of them, barrels of them, every day. But she must not hear it from your lips. Cab whistles blowing frantically in all directions. [To Doolittle] How did you know the girl was here if you didn't send her? Oh, you are real good. HIGGINS [suddenly resorting to the most thrillingly beautiful low tones in his best elocutionary style] By George, Eliza, the streets will be strewn with the bodies of men shooting themselves for your sake before I've done with you. MRS. PEARCE [returning] This is the young woman, sir. Let's give him ten. Observe the rhythm of his native woodnotes wild. I'm a good girl, I am; and I know what the like of you are, I do. LIZA [protesting extremely] Ah—ah—ah—ah—ow—ow—oooo!!! You can also read the full text online using our ereader. HIGGINS [going to her solemnly] Just so. Stop, Mr. Higgins. HIGGINS. MRS. PEARCE. Oh, that! Another time, Governor. There! LIZA. I don't know that I can take charge of her or consent to the arrangement at all. HIGGINS [wounded in his tenderest point by her insensibility to his elocution] Oh, indeed! Musical instrument, Governor. Does Sustainable Competitive Advantage Exists? MRS. PEARCE. It was like this, Governor. HIGGINS [impressively] Stop. I'll keep it as a curiosity. She'll have her food and her clothes. PICKERING. Might she use some of those Japanese dresses you brought from abroad? But I've no place to put her. HIGGINS [deftly retrieving the handkerchief and intercepting her on her reluctant way to the door] You're an ungrateful wicked girl. That's it, Governor. HIGGINS. Don't answer back, girl. Oh, PLEASE, Higgins: I'm west country myself. There can be no question that as a matter of morals it's a positive crime to give this chap a farthing. You've got to learn to behave like a duchess. I wouldn't speak to them, you know. Do let him tell his story, Higgins. THE FLOWER GIRL. This! That's all. Not me, Governor, so help me I won't. Throw her out. Would you like to go over any of it again? Sit down. [She goes downstairs]. George Bernard Shaw. This book is available for free download in a number of formats - including epub, pdf, azw, mobi and more. HIGGINS [brusquely, recognizing her with unconcealed disappointment, and at once, baby-like, making an intolerable grievance of it] Why, this is the girl I jotted down last night. No, Governor. How can you be such a foolish ignorant girl as to think you could afford to pay Mr. Higgins? Undeserving poverty is my line.